


flowers to make a garland

by strawberricream



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Traits, Animals, Domestic Fluff, Existential Crisis, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Isolation, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 15,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26400814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberricream/pseuds/strawberricream
Summary: the four of them are dogs/cats in this au and you’re a well-paid office worker. touches on themes of loneliness stemming from isolation, a nine to five work schedule and an overall sense of complacency. just you and your little creatures navigating the world together.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru, Hanamaki Takahiro/Iwaizumi Hajime/Matsukawa Issei/Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 62
Kudos: 167





	1. you’re home

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [the long and short of it](http://sporkpress.com/2_1/Pieces/Siken.htm) by richard silken.

“i’m home!”

you sigh, shrugging your jacket out and throwing your keys into the small bowl on the side cabinet.

the soft but clear “clack clack” of your dog’s nails scratching against the hardwood floor rings out as a smile breaks across your face.

“ah, hajime!” you coo, kneeling down.

“ruff!” he smiles broadly, front feet moving up and down in excitement finally seeing you after so long. his eyes light up and he runs up to your legs. seeing the frenzied wave of his tail, you laugh, scratching behind his ears as he closes his eyes.

“mya!”

looking down, you see your cat, takahiro, standing up on his hind legs as he paws at the air, wanting attention too. you cup the side of his small face, smiling broadly as you scratch his neck, moving your hand to stroke his back as he puts his front paws back down on the floor. he purrs loudly, sliding his small body against your legs as he relishes in your pets.

coming back home to the two of them was a slice of happiness you’d never take for granted. no matter how tired you were it always filled your chest with warmth seeing them so eager to see you.

“i’m sorry i came home later than usual; had to do overtime. give me a minute to change and we’ll go on our walk, okay?”

hajime barks in reply as you stand up, following you excitedly back into the house. takahiro follows not too far behind. you get changed and leash the two of them, bringing along a backpack full of essentials before heading out the door for a late walk.

“woof!”

“wait up, hajime, let me lock the door!”

“nya,” takahiro calls, scratching his ears.

you managed to get the two of them out of the apartment building without much hassle. hajime’s positively brimming with energy to be outside again after so long; his fur gleams beautifully in the sun.

hajime’s a gorgeous black brindle kai ken, even rare here in his home country of japan. your uncle had gifted him to you after his got pregnant and gave birth to a small litter as a gift for your nineteenth birthday. despite it being your first year in university, you studied hard and trained him the best you could. while not the most open to strangers, he was never overly aggressive. though he’s always surprising you with how bright he is.

takahiro was adopted a year later, given to you by a close friend who’s scottish straight was found pregnant after a visit to the vet so you don’t really know what the other 50% of him is, but it doesn’t really matter. he’s your little strawberry and you wouldn’t have it any other way. takahiro’s easygoing and much less reserved around strangers though he has a knack for sprawling across your couch and getting his fur everywhere. he likes to climb your furniture too.

“mama! look!!”

a little boy giggles excitedly, pointing at hajime.

“she’s walking the kitty too!” he squeals. his mom smiles softly at the sight.

you smile too. “would you like to pet them?”

the boy’s eyes sparkle. “really?!” he looks back to his mom. “mommy, can i pet them, please?”

she nods, thanking you politely as the little boy moves to pet hajime, who sits down for him. takahiro lies down next to hajime’s front paws and allows the boy to rub his back.

when they leave, takahiro rubs up against your legs, pawing at your feet as he looks up at you. you smile defeatedly and bring him up into your arms.

“lazy,” you laugh, as he snuggles into your neck.


	2. a valley of pink and green

“ready?”

hajime wags his tag, waiting patiently as you take off his leash. you set takahiro on the soft grass, taking out a worn tennis ball from your backpack.

“go!”

hajime flies across the field. you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of him bolting around.

the summer sun is low in the sky. a blanket of purple and orange, of breathtaking beauty. takahiro climbs onto the bench behind you, resting near your knapsack as you play with hajime.

he drops the ball in your hand, waiting tensely for you to throw it for him for the nth time. you grin, feigning a throw and hiding your hand behind your back. he turns around, ears perked before zipping his body towards you and tilting his head.

“ruff!”

you laugh. “aren’t you gonna go get it, hajime?”

“woof!”

he runs up to you, going behind your back as he sees the ball. you quickly put your arms above your head, laughing all while he jumps up at you.

“ruff!”

your grin gets bigger.

he gets his dirty paws on your pants trying to jump up at you, barking in demand of another throw.

taking a deep breath, you wind your arm up quickly and throw it as hard as you can. hajime zips off like a race car; you swear he leaves an after image.

“mreow.”

you turn back, walking over to sit on the bench, letting takahiro climb into your lap.

“we’ll go home in ten, ‘kay?”

he turns himself over, lying on his back as you scratch his stomach and cradle his small body against yours.

“hey, is that you?”

you turn to your right.

“semi?” you gawk at the bird on his shoulder.

he waves. “didn’t expect to see you here.”

you scooch over to the left to make room from him. when he sits down, your jaw nearly drops.

“is that...a cockatoo?”

perched on his shoulder is a pink crested cockatoo with an equally pink plumage.

“yeah!” he grins. “a galah cockatoo, to be exact.”

it calls out as if answering to his owner, cocking his head. the noise starles takahiro who was just about to fall asleep as his eyes open, making direct eye contact with the bird.

“oh, it’s cute,” you smile. “interesting how its wings are gray compared to its body. what’s its name?”

“tori,” he replies, bringing a hand up to stroke tori’s side.

you raise a brow. tori? bird? he named his pet bird, bird?

men.

“your kitty is cute. haven’t seen a pink cat either.”

you smile, looking down at takahiro who meows at you.

“isn’t he the cutest?” you say, holding him up to your face.

semi laughs. “yeah, he is.”

takahiro mews, loving the attention.

“how was work? did goshiki end up finishing his part?”

“yeah, he did. thanks for staying behind.”

you shake your head, telling him that it’s no problem.

he nods, smiling in relief as he brings tori down, resting him on his lap. takahiro sits on yours, staring at him. he brings up his paw, letting it hang in the air. a bad feeling brews in your gut so you grab it, not wanting him to hit the small bird and bring him closer to your chest away from it.

semi chuckles as tori sticks his head farther out. “c’mon, tori, cut it out.”

you laugh a little too.

“oh yeah,” semi muses. “i thought you had a dog too?”

right on time, hajime comes back with the ball in his mouth. he stops in front of you proudly as his eyes land on the stranger next to you.

“yeah, here he is,” you say cheerfully. “this is hajime.” you take the ball from him and have him sit as semi pets his head.

“he’s bigger than i thought he’d be.”

“yeah? maybe it was because i was crouching in the photo i showed you.”

semi hums, smile on his face as he pets hajime who stares at tori. tori simply stares back. for a bird of his size, you think he’d be more wary in front of a dog, but tori seemed perfectly content with hajime’s snout mere inches to him.

“what made you come here? i’ve never seen you around.”

semi looks back at you. “ah, thought it’d be good for this guy to get around a little.”

you hum, bringing a finger up to brush at tori’s chest. “looks like he’s enjoying himself.”

“more or less,” semi smiles. “oh yeah, tendou wanted me to ask if you were coming to ushijima’s birthday party in two weeks.”

you hum noncommittally, looking to hajime as he rests his head on your legs. you rubs his soft, smooth ears. “maybe?”

tori squacks, “maybe! birthday!”

“oh my god,” you laugh. hajime and takahiro perk their heads up. “does he do that to you, too?”

semi pets at tori’s chest. “yeah, he picks up on the weirdest things sometimes,” he chuckles, getting up. “speaking of, gotta get back to feed him. if you make up your mind, let me know. i’ll see you next week. need me to walk you back?”

you shake your head. “i’ve got these two here, so i think i’ll be okay. thanks though.”

semi nods and with a final wave, the two of you part ways.

“weird,” you mumble aloud. “who knew he had a bird.”

“mrya,” takahiro purrs.

“you almost clawed him!” you scold, scratching him under his chin.

a soft purr is all you get in response.

you dig into your bag, pulling out some treats for hajime.

“could you imagine, hajime; if i brought a cockatoo home one day and it learned to bark like you?”

hajime looks at you unimpressed.

laughing softly, you pack up, letting your boys lead the walk home. by the time you finish showering, it’s already nine. nuking your prepped dinner in the microwave, you eat quickly before spending the remainder of the evening feeding hajime and takahiro, brushing their fur, vacuuming and doing other miscellaneous chores before scrolling mindlessly through social media.

you collapse into bed that night.


	3. three

you wake up, like every morning, to a mouthful of fur.

takahiro has a funny habit of curling up into your neck whenever you let him and hajime sleep in your bed (which is every night if you’re being honest). they’d just claw into your door and whine if you didn’t let them in.

“ugh, takahiro,” you groan. you know he’s awake, but he makes no signs of moving, only letting out a loud purr. you sigh, hearing the soft patter of hajime’s nails against hardwood again.

you love that sound, really. it brought a special type of warmth into your chest hearing your furry companions make their ways toward you.

“ruff!”

hajime jumps onto the bed, nuzzling his head against your stomach in an attempt to get you to wake up. when that doesn’t work, he jumps on it when his front paws.

“ow!” you groan, “okay, okay! i’m up.”

you move takahiro onto the warm spot of your bed, covering him with the blanket before making your way out the bedroom.

yawning, you make your way into the bathroom, going through your morning routine almost mindlessly before making it out into the kitchen.

the early morning sun has its rays shining through your small apartment. it’s quiet, beautifully so.

“brf!”

you look down, petting hajime, letting his soft fur soothe you.

“breakfast?”

he smiles.


	4. places of comfort, unwelcome sounds

stepping out of your car, you look up at the foliage, taking a deep breath. it was a ritual at this point: ever since you moved to sendai with hajime, you’d take him, every week, to mount zao for a hike.

you’d walk the forty-five minute trail, rich with alpine plants leading to a viewpoint near the rim of the stunning crater that lies at its summit. everytime you look down, the sensation of falling in never fails to amaze you. you like to think hajime thinks the same thing, and takahiro too, whenever he looks down tucked into your tall backpack.

securing the harnesses to your boys, you let them out of the car.

the silence of the mountain and its surroundings welcomes you.

“woof!”

you laugh. “ready?”

“myra!”

“ruff!”

and off you go.

you finish the hike satisfactorily worn and a little sore. on your way back home, you pick up groceries and run some other errands as hajime and takahiro wait in the car.

you bathe the two of them thoroughly when you get home, specifically hajime—he had managed to slip right into a pile of dirt on the way back down the mountain, covering him with a coat of sticks and leaves. takahiro had cuddled into him at the base of the mountain, smearing dirt all over his pink coat. you thought he had looked like a chocolate covered strawberry.

“did you have fun today?”

“ruff!”

you scratch behind his ears, smile breaking out on your face at his cute expression.

“nya.”

looking behind you, takahiro sits next to the doorframe, watching the two of you as he licks his paws to dry them.

“we’ll be done soon,” you hum.

you spend the rest of the afternoon lazing around, working around the house, prepping some more meals for another busy week. takahiro opts to sunbathe on one of the tall cat towers you bought him. you sit on the floor watching him.

hajime comes up and rests his head on your thigh. you rub at his belly.

the blare of a cell phone.

“mum?”


	5. you know what they say: “old habits die hard”

a lilting call of your name.

you click into the excel cell you’re working on before looking up.

“yes?”

tendou smiles, almost mischievously at you. “well? have you made up your mind about wakatoshi’s birthday party?”

“the 13th?”

“mhm.”

you swivel back to look at your computer, pulling up the calendar app, pretending to consider it. it’d probably start at five, then carry on long into the night. you don’t really want to be gone from hajime for so long—the last time that happened, he tore up your couch. though you do have to admit he was a mere six months old then.

whatever.

“not yet, but i’ll let you know.”

tendou nods. “oh yeah, semi told me you saw him the other day at the park.”

“oh yeah, i did.” you grab your coffee.

“did you see it?” he asks, straddling the chair next to yours backwards.

“his cockatoo?”

tendou nods, grin on his face.

“yeah,” you say with a laugh. “it’s cute, though i think my cat tried to kill it. weird name though.”

“hm?”

looking around for semi, you lean forward as your voice drops until it’s just above a whisper. “he named it tori. he named his bird ‘bird’—like really? you have a pink-ass cockatoo that can talk and you name it bird?”

tendou stills for a moment before his guffaws fill the office. everyone turns over to the two of you to see what the fuss is all about.

“tendou!” you berate, taking a nervous sip of your coffee.

he clutches his stomach. the lanyard of the plastic id card around his neck stretches and strains itself as tendou leans back to laugh.

you’re about to scold him again when kawanishi appears behind him.

“tendou-san, what are you two doing?”

he straightens up, holding his hands out. “taichi! do you wanna hear something funny?”

kawanishi looks at the clock before looking back at the two of you. “not right now. washio-san’s coming back from his meeting.”

your face pales—your excel sheet wasn’t completed yet.


	6. normal: intrusive thoughts

“ _you really should get a move on, you know. everyone else is doing it already. have you been looking properly?_ ”

not really. not that you have the time to, honestly.

“ _you’re always using those animals of yours as an excuse. just put them in a kennel for a day or something. they’re not doing you any good_.”

not like you have either.

“you’re 23 now. any older and people won’t even look at you. you really should get a boyfriend. stop being so stubborn about it.”

(she’s relentless.)

“ _are you listening?_ ”

(so what if you made yourself cold? made yourself snow? hajime and takahiro like to play in it come winter time anyway.

(there you go again: “using those animals as an excuse.”)

they’re not an excuse, but—

but tell me you love this, tell me you’re not miserable.

(like everything else, this self-loathing passes.))

you toss and turn; the covers simultaneously feeling too warm and not warm enough.

takahiro purrs against the column of your throat, nuzzling his head. hajime gets up from his spot on the corner of the bed to climb over to you.

you sigh, sitting up and cradling takahiro in your arms as hajime lies down on your legs.

“you guys love me, right?”

as if they could understand you, they move closer—takahiro climbs up your torso to nuzzle your neck again as hajime rubs his face against yours.

because they do. love you.

your boys love you sideways: sideways because they beam their love in all directions, hoping it bounces off something and eventually finds you.

it does.


	7. waiting for you

“well, you don’t have anything to worry about! the two of them are healthy and have no signs of sickness or illness.”

you nod, thanking the vet as relief washes over you in waves.

takahiro seems to grin at the news, his pink fur almost shining in the bright lights of the office.

“maybe we’ll get you some whipped cream the next time i go shopping, yeah?”

takahiro’s face lights up, his cute ears twitching. hajime jumps up too, putting his front paws on your knees.

you and the vet laugh at their excitement.

you decide to spend the rest of the afternoon soaking in the good news and treating you and your boys to strawberries and cream.

“any questions today?”

you get up to stand. “no, but as always, thank you so much!”

on your way out, you hear a loud cry from one of the rooms.

“oh, that’s one of the ones a volunteer brought in the other day.”

“one of them?” you ask, as takahiro paws at the zipper of your hoodie.

“yes, there’s two.”

against your better judgment, you ask to see them.

your heart lodges in your throat at the sight of them.

you meet tooru, the japanese spitz-pom mix. he’s around the same size as a pomeranian with a gorgeous caramel coat and an equally cute face. he’s the one who made the loud noise earlier when he got frightened by another dog in the same room. his previous owners were moving into an apartment that didn’t allow animals. you find it awfully cruel of them to leave him behind.

the other one is a stray brought in by one of the clinic’s volunteers. the vet says the people that lived in the neighbourhood he frequented call him issei. he’s quiet, but lets you pet him. the lab work for his genetic makeup was requested two days ago, but the vet says he’s likely part siberian forest cat given his long coat and green eyes.

“would you like to adopt one of them?”

you take a deep breath and look at takahiro and hajime who you’ve let interact with tooru and issei after hearing that they were both vaccinated and had been checked for ticks.

takahiro’s cuddled up against issei, licking at his ears as issei paws at his side gently. hajime seems relatively indifferent to tooru, who’s barking up a storm and circling hajime, tail almost a blur with how fast it’s moving.

honestly, you don’t know. while you would love to provide them a new home, to double the number of pets in a single go would be hard. there were also the medical bills, the insurance you’d have to think about. and with your supervisors and managers at work expecting more and more of you, you don’t know if you’d be able to keep up with their needs on your own.

you bit your lip.

a decision: you start off fostering them.


	8. internal "love meter"

“you’re what?”

“i’m fostering.” you take a drink of your oolong tea.

“don’t you already have a dog and cat?” semi asks, exhaling smoke from his cigarette. his tie is tucked into the pocket of his dress shirt and your cheeks pink a little at how good he looks bathed in the yellow light of the restaurant—especially with his sleeves rolled up.

“yeah, but they’re cute!” you pout. you pull out your phone, showing him photos of your beloved little family.

he chuckles. “they are.”

he is too.

“oh? what are we looking at?” tendou slides in next to you, a pint of beer in hand.

you show him.

“you got more? isn’t it tiring?”

you nod, taking another sip of your peach soju. “it’s worth it though.”

tendou hums.

“where’s wakatoshi anyways?” semi asks, putting his cigarette to his lips. “we can’t start his birthday party without him.”

“there’s an accident near san-chome,” shirabu says. “he might take a while.”

you hum absentmindedly at the fact, hoping tooru doesn’t pee on the couch again.


	9. your honour, i would like to present to you: exhibits one to four

fostering soon becomes temporary adoption when the coronavirus hits. you’re stuck at home and your employer, shiratorizawa inc., decided to suspend in-office business processes for the time being, having all employees conduct services and their duties from the safety of their homes.

with so much time on your hands, you’ve come to notice endearing little details about your extra additions to the family:

  1. tooru loves it when you give him human food. he rushes up and down the couch almost frantically. one time, he misplaced his foot and face planted on the floor only to spring back up as if nothing happened. you thought you bust a muscle with how hard you had laughed.
  2. issei really likes water. in fact, you have to lock the door whenever you shower now because the one time you just closed it, he jumped and managed to pull down on the handle. you didn’t even notice until he hopped into your shower. you screamed so loud your neighbours nearly broke down your front door to help you. 
  3. hajime likes tooru more than he let on. in fact, whenever you filled his bowl, he would push it towards tooru, not understanding that the much smaller dog should not be eating so much. 
  4. when all four of them sleep together at midday, takahiro always has to be on top of everyone. tooru and hajime will curl up next to each other and issei will climb on top of them. takahiro then gets on top of him and meows quite loudly when issei tries to one up him.



though all in all, you can’t complain. you might have to vacuum more (two to three times a day because issei and tooru just shed so much) and pay more insurance fees (a hefty chunk of your annual bonus was going into the four of them now) but at the end of the day, when they’re all curled up either on or near you in bed, you can’t complain.

but your mother does.

oh, she does.

whatever.

not like she’d stay long if she ever stepped into your apartment anyways.


	10. permanent address

it’s pouring outside. the dreary clouds blanket the city in a fog of blue grey.

you’re sitting on the floor, issei in your lap as you brush at his long coat. the tv plays a show you’re only half listening to.

“mrr,” he purrs. you laugh softly, wondering if he’d become your little motorcycle engine today too.

tooru turns around at your laugh, leaving hajime’s tail that he was playing with and jumps down from the couch to you, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he comes to paw at your hand.

you oblige him, petting him and giving a kiss as he yips happily.

takahiro and hajime lie on the couch behind you; you can hear takahiro’s soft purrs as he sleeps. with a final stroke of your comb, you get up, stretching your arms above your head.

time for a change of pace.

“tooru, hajime.”

their ears perk up.

“wanna go for a walk?”

hajime gets off the couch quickly as tooru yips and runs in circles. you laugh, watching as the two of them run off to the door. you pick up issei from the floor, resting him near takahiro as the two cuddle into each other.

“nya,” takahiro mewls, tail swishing between his legs.

you squeeze his little paws, delighting in his soft pink toe pads.

“we’ll be back soon. watch over the house for us, okay?”

“myraa,” he chirps. issei responds with a whap of his bushy tail and a purr.

you rub at his side, finding it amusing how much smaller takahiro is compared to him.

tooru barks impatiently and you laugh at how he runs back to the living room to paw at you, jumping on his hind legs. hajime follows behind him and you let the two of them lead you to the door.

you dress the two up in little rain jackets that tendou had bought for them as a gag gift—you think it’s cute.

jacket on, umbrella open.

a step outside.

the fresh air clears your head and fogs it all at once.

work emails. you think of the one that got sent out this morning.

_procedural reviews… updates… a possible return to the workplace…_

you’re tired.

you work your job, eat your meals. you tie your ties, go to work, unknot them and go to sleep. you sleep, dream, wake up. grabbing the hammer, you knock on the wooden pegs that affix the meaning to your landscape.

you float too much to wander in the real world.

“roo?”

you blink, looking down at them. tooru paws at your shin. you zone in a little more; you’re back in front of the apartment building.

you crouch down, balancing your umbrella on your shoulder as you scratch tooru under his chin.

“let’s get cleaned up and eat dinner, yeah?”


	11. what you do for each other; 1

“ruff ruff!”

tooru bounds across your apartment, zipping to the couch, back to you and then to chase his own tail before barking again.

you made the five of you mini fruit parfaits with strawberries, blueberries and mango topped with whipped cream. except, tooru didn’t get any whipped cream hence the outburst.

“tooru!” you huff. “you know you’re lactose intolerant!”

he yips petulantly, growling a little.

“you pooped all over my living room floor the last time i gave it to you!!”

hajime chuffs a laugh, licking at his nose where he had a dollop of cream. issei leaves his bowl partly unfinished to lick his paws as takahiro scampers over to finish it for him.

“aroo!”

“tooru! you’ll disturb the neighbours!”

“arf! arf!”

“look,” you bend down to point a finger at him. “just because you are willing to suffer through your diarrhea doesn’t mean i am.”

tooru snarls at you.

“well,” you straighten up, walking back to the kitchen to grab his bowl. “i guess you don’t want it at all then.”

cue another round of high-pitched howls to whine for his bowl back.


	12. what you do for each other; 2

you sigh, sinking into the bath water. you ended up giving tooru a tiny teaspoon of whipped cream and thankfully, he didn’t defecate unnecessarily this time.

“nyra!”

you open your eyes to see issei staring at you. he’s laying down in a little plastic box. for his fondness of water and interrupting your bath time, you decided to let him join you. now whenever you turn the bathwater on, he runs to the bathroom and jumps in his box.

“did you like the parfait?”

he mewls, sticking one of his paws into the water and then bringing up to lick at it.

you grimace. “don’t do that, please.”


	13. what you do for each other; 3

that night, you wake up at around three in the morning. you groan softly, bringing your arms up to your face. since quarantine started, you’ve been having troubles sleeping through the entire night with the lack of physical activity.

sighing, you rub your eyes and groggily roll out of bed to get to the kitchen for water.

“mrr,” takahiro paws at your back, eyes barely opened. you kiss his head as he purrs, falling back asleep before standing up to leave the bedroom.

you take a look back to your bed. hajime’s nestled on the corner of it. tooru’s flopped on his side where your legs were. issei sleeps into the dip where your waist was and takahiro purrs softly with his head on your pillow.

it’s warm.

you blindly touch the wall in the dark, using it to stabilize you and to search for the light switch. running a hand through your messy strands of hair, you sludge into the kitchen, pouring yourself a cup of water, leaning against the counter.

it’s quiet.

you drink quickly, not wanting your thoughts to catch up.

lights off.

you shuffle your feet instead of walking as you make your way back into the bedroom. just in case takahiro decided to follow you and so you don’t step on him.

yawning, you turn into the bedroom.

hajime sits up from the slight noise and in the dark, his eyes glow. you yelp, heart racing, jumping two feet in the air and tripping over them from the scare, thinking some demon was in your room.

“holy crap, hajime!” you whisper-yell.

your yelp wakes the other three up, who all climb off the bed in varying paces to check up on you. hajime jumps to flick the lights on before nuzzling his head into your cheek as an apology, his ears tickling your skin.

they clamber into your arms, between your legs, heads nuzzling into you.

you laugh softly. “i’m okay, i’m okay,” you say, kissing all of them. “thank you.”

(love, love, go ahead and have another plate of it, it doesn’t run out.)

you fall asleep that night with takahiro on your neck, issei on your chest, tooru’s head on your stomach and hajime nestled into your side.

it’s a little hard to breathe.

(you don’t mind).


	14. from their eyes

hajime first thought it was a little weird, how you stayed home all day, sitting in the same spot for hours on end.

takahiro doesn’t mind at all—he loves it. loves how you’re always home to brush his fur and play with him and give him kisses. you were always so tired when you came home before, but now, he gets to have fun with you all day long.

hajime supposes he doesn’t mind either, watching as you try fruitlessly to remove takahiro from your laying across your keyboard. you take him on more walks and play fetch and frisbee with him more than ever.

tooru loves you regardless. he doesn’t know why the family he had left him behind, but that’s water under the bridge now—he has you and you spoil him with everything his little heart desires. he really, really adores how you have so many different combs and brushes to pamper him with.

issei found it uncomfortable being contained within four walls at first, but he’s come to find happiness within the home you’ve given him and the love you have that only seems to grow bigger. his favourite thing to do is perching on your shoulder whenever you cook, watching as your hands move.

you sigh, leaning back into the couch behind you and hajime moves his head to hit yours lightly.

you laugh softly, rubbing takahiro’s belly as he purrs in your arms, happy to have your attention away from your laptop. issei climbs down from the cat tower in the corner to crawl into your lap as tooru paws at your arm, wanting some attention of his own.

“i’ll be done in a bit,” you say quietly, patting his head.


	15. lies

“a bit” was another three hours.

5:48pm.

you fall asleep on the couch.


	16. save me, love me

hajime drapes a blanket over you, noting how you’ve lost weight and the pallid colour of your skin.

takahiro gets up and walks into the bedroom, grabbing the men’s shirts and sweats from your lowest dresser drawer and giving them out to the other three before making his way to the closet where you kept your cleaning supplies.

“is she—,” tooru’s voice is quiet, timid. “is she okay?” he plays with a loose strand on the hem of his shirt.

it’s quiet, in a soft, suffocating way. like the way you hold your breath under water, finding solace in the quiet and the muted noises of the water around you, numbly aware of the fact that you need to break the surface to breathe.

“she’s—,” hajime huffs. he doesn’t know how to put it into words, your delicate strength.

takahiro looks up as he turns on your roomba, watching it bump into the coffee table.

“the last time this happened was when she was in university. i think—,” takahiro stands, grabbing the window cleaner. “she’s probably underwhelmingly overwhelmed.”

tooru tilts his head, raising a brow. “what?”

“or is it overwhelmingly underwhelmed?”

hajime grabs the notepad next to your laptop, making a shopping list. he doesn’t say anything, but thinks takahiro’s assessment is more or so correct.

“being stuck in this apartment’s probably the main reason,” issei hums, running a hand through your hair.

tooru purses his lips, wiping down the table your tv sits on. “aren’t you just projecting?”

issei chuckles.

“she’ll get through it,” hajime cuts in. “she’s always has. and will.” his grip on the pen tightens; his letters get more jagged.

tooru nods, trusting in the one who’s been with you the longest.

hajime hopes he’s right.

“do you think,” takahiro inhales, nose wrinkling at the chemical scent of the cleaning solution. “that we should show her?”

“show what?” hajime asks, carefully tearing off the shopping list from your cute notepad. satisfied with the peel, he stands up and pockets the note.

takahiro looks at hajime. “our human forms.”

hajime balks a little before he clenches his fists. unclenches them. “i-i don’t know.”

“i want to!” tooru beams. “then we can do all those things we see on the tv.”

issei hums quietly, thinking about cooking dinner with you and making that alfredo pasta recipe you were watching on your phone the other day.

“it’s not about you—or us.” hajime glances at you.

“you think she’d take it well?” issei asks. hajime doesn’t make eye contact with him so he turns to takahiro.

takahiro crosses his arms, leaning against the wall. “after her initial reaction, i think she’d be happy.”

tooru nods. “it’s us after all,” he smiles, looking right at hajime. “who knows her better?”

you. us. 

happiness.

hajime takes a shaky breath.


	17. totally spies

“ungh.”

you groan, stretching your arms above your head to work out all the kinks in your body from your nap.

the house is quiet. rubbing your eyes, you throw the blanket off of you.

blanket?

maybe hajime pulled it on you.

“mrya.”

you groggily move your head over.

issei sits in the middle of the kitchen, licking his paws. his green eyes glow dimly.

right, dinner. you get up, making your way to the kitchen as you let him jump into your arms.

he purrs, nuzzling into your neck as you run your hand across his back.

“where’s everyone else?”

issei doesn’t reply, simply resting in your arms as you hum, walking over to where you kept all their food.

takahiro watches you from the darkness of the hallway.

the run to the store is taking longer than usual; you were usually still asleep when they got back. he knew he should have gone instead of tooru.

he walks quickly to the door of the apartment, hoping issei will be enough to distract you.

his ears flick when he hears shuffling on the other side of the door. the door’s unlocked, but now he’s nervous that tooru and hajime will make too much noise coming inside.

the door opens.

takahiro thanks every deity he can recall for the hinges not creaking.

he sticks his head out at the slightest crack, eyes wide.

tooru and hajime look at him.

“guys!” you call out. “dinner’s ready!”

they start sweating.

tooru transforms right then and there. hajime almost berates him out loud--what if your neighbours saw?

tooru sprints into the kitchen, yipping happily and jumping up and down at your feet.

you laugh.

“tooru! there you are; where’d you go?”

he barks, running two circles around you before stopping to smile cutely.

issei licks his paws, not minding his display.

takahiro and hajime scramble to get rid of their clothes, shoving their plastic bag and clothes into a cabinet kept by the gekkan.

then, they too make their way into the kitchen.

you smile brightly upon seeing them.

takahiro nyas loudly as you sit down, petting them.

hajime barks and smiles with you.

safe.


	18. a quick meeting

you’re in the washroom, taking a bath while issei sits in his little plastic box again.

outside in the living room, takahiro, hajime and tooru sit nude in the middle of it. unfortunately, it was difficult to have lengthy discussions as cats and dogs due to language barriers.

“what took you guys so long?” takahiro glares.

hajime grunts, explaining that tooru was whining about wanting to buy you the expensive ceramic dinner plates that were on sale.

tooru huffs, saying that you deserved the gift for working so hard.

takahiro rolls his eyes, “and where would we get the money for that?”

tooru doesn’t say anything.


	19. reminder: replace the shitty vacuum

“nrff!”

it’s 8:39pm.

tooru sits in your lap as you comb through his coat, taking your time to brush through all the kinks. he’s the last one to go.

next to you sit piles of pink, black, dark grey, and caramel fur. it’s a habit you can’t seem to get rid of; seeing all their fur in lumps after a good brush sent a wave of satisfaction rushing through you.

“you love being brushed, don’t you?” you chuckle.

“yip!” he smiles, rolling onto his back. his eyes close happily, tail swishing as you rub his belly.

“rrow,” takahiro jumps down from the couch, showing you his tummy too.

you laugh and bring a hand over to rub him too. it’s like you’re a dj.

takahiro purrs, swatting at your hands as he revels in the affection.

you hum, bringing him into your arms and sitting him in your lap. tooru rolls back onto his legs, barking grumpily. it was his turn!!

you shush him with a couple pets on the head and scratches behind the ear.

“let’s trim your nails while we’re at it,” you murmur.

takahiro settles down in your lap, meowing cutely. you kiss him on the forehead as you grab the nail trimmers.

tooru growls.

“oh shush it, you. i’ll do you next okay?”

takahiro grins evilly at him.

“ruff!”

takahiro’s trimming goes easy. so does issei’s.

“okay, issei, you’re done,” you smile, petting his stomach.

“mrr,” he purrs, eyes closed.

“come on, big guy,” you laugh, bringing him up to your face.

he meows and you think you can see him smile as he licks your nose. thankfully, he leaves with a couple of pats on the bum.

next!

tooru barks annoyingly at every nail even though you take the utmost care in not trimming into his nail beds.

“drama queen.”

he head butts you.

hajime’s fidgety; he’s never really liked getting his nails trimmed.

“s’okay, hajime, you’re doing really well,” you soothe. “almost done, okay?”

he hides his face in your neck. he trusts you, he does.

when everyone’s been trimmed and you’ve vacuumed for the fourth time that day, you sit and roll their loose fur into balls.

“hajime,” you coo.

he looks at you. you grin, putting his ball of fur on his head.

everyone gets a lump on their heads.

“okay, stay there for a minute.”

grabbing your camera, you snap a quick photo, laughing all the while.

takahiro paws at his ball, rolling around to play with it.

“stop it,” you groan. “i don’t wanna brush you all over again.”

he meows and opts to ignore you.

tooru flicks his head and throws his pile of fur in the air. mistaking it for a ball, hajime lunges at it only to come away with a mouthful of fur.

“hajime!”

you spend the rest of the night cleaning out his mouth and trying not to laugh as issei falls asleep to all the ruckus around him.


	20. please don’t remind me of that

“okay, i’ll be right back.”

you tie tooru’s leash onto the pole outside the restaurant.

“roo?” tooru tilts his head, pawing at your leg.

“i’m just gonna grab some food, okay?”

you pet him before walking away, pulling up the order confirmation on your phone as you step into the restaurant.

“it’ll be ready in about ten minutes! would you like to wait here or come back?”

“i’ll wait, thank you!”

tooru sits looking at the painted curtains of the restaurant, waiting for you to come out.

by the five minute mark, he gets antsy; you said you’d be right back. he lies on his front paws, closing his eyes.

at the seven minute mark, tooru isn’t willing to wait anymore. he barks, cries loud and high-pitched. he doesn’t want to be alone anymore. hates that he’s stuck here while you’re so far away.

you wouldn’t leave him, right?

“oh my god,” you say to yourself. apologizing to the staff, you walk out to the entrance, seeing tooru wail as other passersby watch.

“tooru!”

he stops, tail whipping rapidly behind him once he sees you. he walks as close to you as he can with the leash on.

“ruff!”

you sigh, willing yourself to ignore the people giggling at his clingy behaviour.

“the food’s almost done, okay? i promise i’ll be right back.”

you smile at him and head back in.

30 seconds.

he starts howling.

“tooru!”


	21. take out and kisses on the head

“mreow.”

you separate a piece of your tamagoyaki for takahiro.

“roo?”

you look tiredly over to tooru.

“i’m never taking you out alone with me ever again.”

tooru barks petulantly, headbutting you affectionately.

“i was gone for less than ten minutes, you silly.”

he looks up at you, all flattened ears and big eyes, sitting politely to your left.

you sigh, leaning in to leave a kiss on his forehead.

“silly,” you chide. “i’ll always come back for you, tooru.”


	22. a ritual

stepping out of your car, you look up at the foliage, taking a deep breath. it’s a ritual: ever since they reopened the trail, you took your four furry companions, every week, to mount zao for a hike.

hajime eagerly leads the pack, ecstatic to be back in one of his happy places.

you walk the forty-five minute trail, rich with alpine plants leading to a viewpoint near the rim of the stunning crater that lies at its summit. everytime you look down, the sensation of falling in never fails to amaze you. hajime thinks the same, so do tooru and takahiro.

issei does too, looking down as he’s tucked into your tall backpack. all the wonder of the world in his eyes.

you take a break at the top. sitting down and taking out bowls for their water, fruit and light snacks for the five of you.

hajime and tooru dash around the clearing, exploring what they can with their leashes on. takahiro rests on your backpack, soaking in the sun and its light and all the fresh air of the mountain.

“having fun?” you ask, petting issei’s back.

he’s been wide-eyed the whole trip, taking in all the foliage, animals, scents and sights he’s never seen.

“mrya!” he chirps.

he loves it. more than he thought he would. didn’t think that there were such cool, interesting and fun things to see out there. he tells himself to make you go outside more often and to take him with you.

you smile brightly and he thinks you look really pretty framed by all the greens and blues and browns of the mountain.

pecking him on the forehead, you place him back into the opening of your backpack with takahiro.

“ready for the trip back down?”

“mreow!”

and off you go.


	23. food is good

hajime pokes your thigh with his nose.

“wait, hajime, i’m making a masterpiece.”

issei lies on your kitchen counter with takahiro. their tails are curled together.

tooru sits on the stool watching you.

you place a slice of chicken breast on the rice you shaped. you’re making sushi. for your boys that is. work paid you an extra covid stipend so you decided to dish out a little for expensive, organic meats and treat them.

“done!”

takahiro sits up, looking at the food and then to you, tilting his head.

“i made sushi for you guys.” pointing to each of the nigiri rolls, you explain the ingredients. “i have chicken, salmon, tuna and egg!”

you plate it on fancy wooden trays and nice porcelain bowls for each of them, adding in some steamed vegetables for a more balanced diet.

the four of them sit facing you.

issei thinks it looks like one of those cooking shows where the rookie presents their dish to the professional michelin starred chefs.

“dig in!”

well, issei doesn’t know anything about being a chef, but he does know this tastes good. he laughs a little hearing tooru bark and takahiro meow as they eat.

they all clear their bowls.

takahiro rolls over to his side in satisfaction, a cute smile on his face.

tooru lies on his back, paws sticking up in the air.

issei sits like a human, back leaning against the kitchen counter.

hajime lazes with his head on your lap, tail swaying.

you stifle your giggles behind your hands.


	24. all dolled up

“ah, takahiro, you look so cute!”

“mrrya!” he mews happily, sauntering around and posing for you in the little strawberry hat you put on him. it compliments his pretty, soft pink fur, making him look a million times more endearing than he already is.

issei lies on your bed with a watermelon hat tugged over his head. he’s come to accept it.

(“the green of the rind brings out your eyes,” you told him.

he would have laughed out loud had he been in his human form.)

you put tooru in a glittery grape costume and filmed him as he dashed all around your apartment trying to get it off. he looks hilarious—fur sticking out wherever it has the chance to. the part that was supposed to go on his head sits unused on your covers since he tried to tear it to shreds.

“tooru! stop! you’re getting glitter everywhere!”

“nrff!” he growls, shaking his little body. that’s your fault! he wants to yell.

hajime is spared any embarrassment thanks to the fact that the seller sent the wrong sized costume for him. it’s too small for him and too big for tooru. hajime doesn’t know what it is; the moment you called his name, he buried his head under your blankets. (it’s a carrot.)

you flop down onto your back, scrolling through the photos you took. this is simply an impromptu photo shoot turned into a mess. everyone was supposed to come together and be fruits in a basket; you were dressed up too, but all you have is hajime tucked into your bed half-asleep, tooru getting glitter on every square inch of your apartment, issei who finally succeeded in pulling his hat off and pushing it off the bed and takahiro (oh, sweet, lovely takahiro) who was the only one enjoying your efforts and now joyfully kneading your blankets.

“rrf!!”

you sit up with a tired, but happy sigh, getting off the bed to help tooru take his costume off.


	25. am i precious to you?

“alright, let’s take a look.”

you’re back at the vet’s. it’s been nearly four months since you took tooru and issei in.

“okay, so everyone, excluding issei, is getting a booster vaccine today,” she announces. “takahiro needs one for bordetella, and hajime and tooru are getting one for the canine influenza.”

issei licks at his paws on the desk. he already went through that hell the first time he came here. it makes him shudder just thinking about it.

takahiro goes first, head tucked into the space between your side and arms as you hold him. he gives you a weak “mreow” as the vet disinfects the top of his thigh.

“s’okay, hiro, it’ll go by quick, okay?” you soothe.

he closes his eyes at the pinch, ears flattening in anticipation. he mewls quietly at the sting, doing his best to ignore it as he focuses on your soothing scent and everything but the vaccination.

“...and done, good job!” the vet pulls the needle back and gets ready for the next one.

“see?” you pull takahiro up into your arms, giving him a peck on the head. “you did so well, hiro. ‘m so proud.”

“mrya!” his round doe eyes narrow happily at your praise as he snuggles into your neck for comfort. you press consecutive kisses into his cheek until he’s purring happily, the pain in his upper thigh a little less painful than before.

“alright, who’s next?” the vet asks.

petting takahiro, you put him back into his carrier as he scurries to the rear end of it.

“hajime?”

“boof.”

he walks over to you and you give him a quick pet on the head and rub of his cheeks before helping him onto the table. you have him lie down, standing close to him as his ears fold against his head, the needle making him nervous.

he shuts his eyes, focusing on your scent, your arm around his head and the other rubbing along his spine. if anything, he’s happy to be close to you and hopes you give him plenty of kisses on the head afterwards too, like you did with takahiro.

it doesn’t hurt as bad as he thought it would. when he's done, you hug him to your body, rubbing your cheek against the top of his head before pecking him across his fuzzy face. he hops down the table with a small smile, sitting next to the cat carriers.

“only one more now,” the vet smiles.

you nod with her, turning over to your boys, “tooru, are you ready?”

he whimpers, scurrying behind hajime, ears folded against his forehead and tail between his legs. you sigh sympathetically. walking over to him and bending down, you carry him over to the table as he looks up at you, yowling loudly.

“c’mon, tooru,” you soothe, rubbing his side. “i know it’s scary, but i’m here, right? and takahiro and hajime are okay.”

tooru looks at them: takahiro is still in the carrier, sticking a paw out of one of the holes on the side to paw at issei’s swishing tail who’s lying on the floor. hajime’s sitting on the floor, looking directly at him as if to say, “you’ll be fine.”

tooru glances over to the vet, then to you. you offer him a smile and soft pets on the back.

“i’ll make you a parfait with whipped cream later.”

he barks softly, and promptly buries his face in your stomach as the vet gets to work.

it hurts and he yelps when it pricks him but he’d do it all over again, especially if he got to hear you call him a ‘good boy’ and smother him in kisses.

(they all would.)


	26. we love from head to toe

“have you decided?”

you look back at the vet, letting takahiro play with your fingers.

“on what, sensei?”

she smiles softly, “on whether or not you’ll be formally adopting tooru and issei.”

tooru freezes, looking up at you. issei opens his eyes, tail falling. takahiro bites down on your finger and doesn’t let go. hajime flicks his head, straightening up from where he was leaning his head against your thigh.

“well…”

taking off her gloves, she walks over to the built-in sink, “you can have more time if you’d like, but if you decide to return them, we have potential adopters who are interested.”

you open your mouth, then close it.

truthfully, when you officially make the return to work in the office, there’s no way you could take care of all four of them. there just wasn’t enough time in the day to give them the attention you know they deserve.

but tooru’s clinginess and obnoxious yaps have become a welcome background noise to the chorus of his happy yips harmonized with hajime’s deep barks when they see you first thing in the morning.

issei’s penchant for physical affection and mischief when paired with takahiro has come to mean that you’re never really alone and never not laughing your heart out.

the apartment would be too quiet, too empty without them, only filled with the intrusive, and often negative, thoughts you have. you were happy when it was just three, but five isn’t bad either. no, it isn’t. there’re good for each other, good for you.

but they deserve more than what you could give them. so much more.

you give the vet a faint smile that doesn’t reach your eyes, “if it’s okay, i’d like more time please.”


	27. breathing under the water

slipping your shoes on, you adjust the reusable cloth bag on your shoulder.

“ruff!”

“hajime,” you turn around to pet him, “i’ll be back soon, okay? just need to run some errands. don’t let them get into too much trouble.”

he nods and grins when you leave a kiss on the op of his head. sitting obediently in the gekkan, he watches as you go, staying at the door just in case you forgot something. (really, he just wants to see you again.)

when his ears can’t pick up on your footsteps anymore and he’s sure you aren’t turning back around, he returns to the living room. the three of them are napping in the middle of a patch of sunlight. he watches for over them for a while, staring at how they’re all affectionately piled up on top of each other.

he leaves for your bedroom to change and dress himself.

it’s quiet.

he frowns.


	28. drowning. drowning.

issei wakes up. wakes up bathed in the sun. wakes up warm.

wakes up to the sound of soft sobs.

“i-i don’t w-want t-t-to go back,” tooru hiccups. “i-i just want t-to stay h-here!”

hajime’s voice is clipped as he clenched his fists, “that’s not our decision to make.”

tooru sniffles, wiping at his eyes, “s-she said sh-she wanted m-more time, b-but i-i don’t—!” his sobs have him stuttering.

takahiro sits next to tooru, rubbing his back.

“we’re probably going to be returned.”

three pairs of eyes turn to look at him.

issei stares back almost indifferently, expression unreadable.

“wh—?” a new stream of tears washes over tooru’s pristine cheeks. “sh-she c-can—“

“she will,” issei insists, gaze settled into a glare. he runs a hand through his curls. “you could tell from her face from the way she responded to the vet.”

(it’s easier to push a door than it is to pull one.)

tooru’s heart sinks.

takahiro doesn’t know if he’s trying to comfort tooru or himself now.

the sun’s out. it’s warm, but hajime only feels cold.

issei clicks his teeth and sighs exasperatedly. “fuck, she should have just returned us then,” he spits, “then, we—.”

“no!” tooru yells.

issei’s gaze is dark, uninviting, “you’re—.”

“hajime,” tooru turns his head to the man. “p-please, what if we showed her o-our hum—!”

“no,” hajime’s voice rings out loud and clear. he turns his head to the side, hating all the eyes on him.

tooru hates this; why is he being so fucking stubborn about it?

“that’s easy for you to say,” his chest heaves. it _hurts_. “like you would know what it’s like to be abandoned.”

“i don’t,” hajime says without a beat. “i-i hope i never do, but she’s—.”

tooru feels so, so defeated. “then, what am i, what are we, issei and i, supposed to do? just _wait?_ ” he shudders. “ _wait_ to be returned? _wait_ for the three of you to walk away from us?”

takahiro’s chest tightens painfully at the crack in tooru’s voice.

“hajime,” he starts, glancing at issei to check up on him before he looks at hajime. “maybe we should let—.”

“no,” hajime snarls. “and that’s it.”

issei scoffs, “and _why_ —.”

a clatter.

they turn around.

you’re standing at the entrance to the living room. there’s a hole in the bottom of your plastic bag where a glass cup fell through and rolled onto the hardwood floor.

you bolt to your bedroom.


	29. ice

this is, quite frankly, one of hajime’s worst nightmares. he’s has the ones where you leave him behind, sometimes it’s with takahiro, sometimes takahiro is just....not there. other times, you leave him in a park, at the store, at your uncle’s place (you _return_ him) where you never come back to the apartment and he’s left to wait, not knowing—.

regardless, it scares him, puts a stone in the pit of his stomach, makes swallowing that much harder. breathing that much harder because even though he’s only been here for a fraction of your life, you’ve been here for the entirety of his.

hajime knows you struggle with, what they call, “putting yourself out there.” you tend to keep to yourself and find it hard to open up from time to time. sometimes, it’s easier for you to simply do nothing at all and let it all pass by you; a vicious cycle of self-loathing and apathy.

but he believes in you, always has, always will, that you’ll find your own happiness and source of contentment on your own with him watching over you. 

but he’s scared too.

what if you rejected him?

abandoned him?

where would he go then?

and takahiro?

for the two of them who’s worlds center around you, what would they do without you?

and even if you did come to accept him, he knows that he’d be nothing but a burden. you’d worry needlessly: after all, he’s a natural-born dog, what would he know about acting human? and not just the basic things like buying food or talking to friends, but the real intricacies like getting a job, navigating the trains and doing all those things you do on your fancy laptop. hajime would rather stay as an animal forever, simply stating by your side in faith, in everything he could ever give you.

unlike hajime, deep down, takahiro would love to be able to spend time with you in his human form. he’d be able to learn more about you, listen to you talk about your day and hold you in his arms like they do in those television shows to repay all the cuddles you’ve given him. he wants to make you parfaits and give you kisses on the nose and tell you funny jokes to make you laugh that one laugh that has your eyes all crinkly and shoulders shaky.

he wants to be able to go into grocery stores with you, buy you your favourite brand of sweets and go into restaurants and smell new smells and see new things with you.

because takahiro would do a lot to keep you smiling.

tooru just doesn’t want to be left alone. in those steel bars again. in a cardboard box in an unfamiliar room. he wants his people to come home, to love him like he loves them, to be in a _family_. he wants to learn what it means to not be afraid of never being enough.

this is his fourth family. your love, care and all the expensive brushes you have lined up in a drawer for him are more than he could ever ask for. so, _please_.

it’s easier for issei to close himself off entirely, turn the key to the lock on his heart again, to avoid the heartbreak. s’not like he needs the affection, the care, the babying.

(but it’s _nice_. being loved for, cared for, babied. to not have to worry about the rain, the cold, being kicked in the side.

he likes the way you say his name.)

it’s going to be hard sleeping on concrete when he’s gotten used to cotton and silk.


	30. the art of swimming

to say you never noticed anything off would be a lie. you might be a bit lazy and sure, you procrastinate, but you’re not dumb. 

it started in your final year of university. you would notice the slightest things: your mug which you left precariously on the edge being pushed in further by hajime, takahiro somehow managing to grab a small packet of snacks from the snack drawer your parents kept and sneaking into your room to leave them in front of you, the two of them helping you sort through your clean laundry with it all sprawled on the bed—but, sure, you could pass those off as your pets being a little more intelligent and aware of their human’s likes and dislikes, good habits and bad ones.

when you moved out after university, it became a little more obvious. you’d wake up to an empty sink and clean dishes on the side; takahiro would climb up onto the stove as hajime dragged you to the fridge to make dinner; the laundry detergent disappeared more quickly than you ever remember using it; and, sometimes, while you shower, you swear you hear male voices in your apartment despite living alone. 

you hope they don’t think you’re stupid though. that you don’t notice the groceries you know you didn’t buy sitting in the fridge from time to time, or the snacks you find in your cupboard, or the can of whipped cream you know you stopped buying after tooru shat himself in the living room in the fridge.

though you never got any confirmation until six months into your new job. you didn’t exactly need it, content to live with the weird occurrences—not like they were inconveniencing you. 

but at one point, things just piled up on top of each other: new responsibilities, the beratement of your mother, the existential dread building up of ‘is this really what i want to do for the rest of my life’ and ‘there has to be more than this.’ 

one night, you sat on your couch and stared blankly out the window. you jokingly said to yourself, “there isn’t a point anymore, is there?” 

what you meant was that there was no next ‘big thing’: high school, check; university, check; a job, check; a place of your own, check. 

hajime took it in the worst way possible. 

you woke up that night at 1:30 in the morning, throat parched. you were about to get out of bed when you heard choked cries. fear was the first thing that washed over you, a sense of horrible dread, but then you heard the hiccups of your name, the fear in what you deduced to be hajime’s voice as he sobbed to takahiro, asking what else they could do to make you not feel that way anymore, make you feel happier. 

takahiro gave him a choked, “i don’t know.”

it broke your heart.

you couldn’t see what they looked like but you were confident it was them. the confidence only grew as you heard them talk about how you barely ate today and looked so despondent during their walk. 

you wondered if they could tell you were crying too. you wiped your tears the best you could before softly mumbling their names. you heard a sharp breath in and then they were by your side, nuzzling into your sides and neck. 

you pretended as if you just woke up, asking them if they were thirsty too as you buried your face into hajime’s belly. of course, they didn’t  _ say _ anything—takahiro merely offered a soft meow. 

before leaving to go get a cup of water, you petted their heads, telling them to go back to sleep and in a soft whisper, “you know i love you two, right?” 

of course, they didn’t say anything—hajime simply bumped his head into your head in response, but you hoped it was something.

(it was a lot.)

they fell asleep curled up against you, on you, like every other night. 


	31. it’s wet

takahiro nuzzles into your neck.

_ you know i love you two, right? _

he loves you too.  _ they _ love you too. 

he never wants to see hajime crumple down to the floor like he just did  _ ever _ again.


	32. act three intermission

inhale, exhale. inhale, exhale. 

your mind races.

your cellphone rings.

it’s your mom.

knowing she’d just call again and again to reach you, you answer the call, against every nerve and the pit of dread in your stomach.

“hello?”

“why’d it take so long for you to pick up?”

you close your eyes.

“anyways, do you remember the boy i told you about last week?”

“um.” no, you don’t. 

“the one who’s a pharmacist.”

“oh.” 

“mhm. i spoke to his mother the other day and she said he could meet you this saturday. are you free? are you listening?” 

“yes, mum.” 

“alright, well, you should really come over and drop by more often. you spend too much time with those animals of yours. and you adopted another two! you’re out of your mind.”

you bite your tongue. “mum, i have a report due monday. could you turn the meeting down for me? sorry. and yes, i’ll try to visit more often; hope you and dad are taking care.”

“we’re fine, we’re fine. i’m more worried about you.” you can hear her sigh on the other end. “but really, you should give up on those animals of yours. a child would be worth so much more. you’re getting old, you know, you really should be looking for a committed relationship—.”

“mom, i—,” inhale, “i’ll do my best. thank you for checking up on me. i’ll try to visit next week, okay? i’ve got a conference call to take in ten minutes so i’ll talk to you later.” 

civil. we have to be civil. 

she sighs, “alright, take care. i’ll let stephen’s mother know; we can reschedule you for the week after.”

you almost groan. “sure, okay. bye mum.” 

“goodbye.”

in with it all and out again. 

you slump against the door. 

you wish you had told her that you didn’t want to see stephen. told her outright. told her you’re fine. told her you don’t need to have the “milestones” she so badly wants you to have when she has no idea what you want.


	33. holding your breath

inhale, exhale. inhale, exhale. 

you get up and open the bedroom door. 

you tiptoe into the living room. 

how do you breach the tension, the chasm? 

you frown—there was never one to begin with. 

“hello?”

you step into the living room, tentative, cautious. like you’re walking up on stage and this is your first ever performance but also the most important because it’s the nationals or something, and it could make or break your career, whatever it is. 

they’re not here. 

the apartment is quiet.

that’s fine. it’s to be expected you suppose. rolling up your sleeves, you walk into the kitchen. 

might as well start on dinner.

there’s comfort in the way dinner is prepared and you know that the process would keep you busy, mind from running, but you pick up the phone before you know it. before you know, you’re calling for your favourite takeout.

“is that everything for you today?”

is it? you pull the phone away from you. are they going to eat?

you ask to triple your order and throw in some other dishes. 

“...and delivery will be free. we’ll have someone there in an hour so please have payment ready then. thank you!”

“thanks.” 

the phone call ends.

the apartment is quiet again. your fingers find each other, tension riddled in the joints. you should have made dinner yourself. then, you wouldn't be stuck with yourself. you close your eyes, slumped on the couch, forcing yourself to relax, not to sleep, yet hoping that, when you opened your eyes, the world would be different.


	34. swimming upwards

there really isn’t anything else for you to do; you don’t want to push any of them to talk to you so you decide to take a shower. 

you bite your tongue, hoping that issei will appear so that you’d at least be able to talk to one of them. you sigh, heart heavy, throat a bit tight. 

“mrya.”

you whip around, seeing takahiro at the door. his eyes are wide, ears flat as he peaks in on you. the endearing sight of him pains you.

you take a shuddering breath and squat down, holding your hand out for him.

“hey, ‘hiro.”

he takes a tentative step forward, slowly inching across the bathroom floor. he nuzzles softly into your hand, a soft “mrr” coming from him. you put your other hand on his side, rubbing his small body and he purrs a little louder at the affection. 

you smile, sniffling a little and bringing him up to your chest, thankful that you got to see at least one of them before dinner. you plant little kisses on his forehead and cheeks, letting him rub his head into your chest and neck. you laugh when his ears brush across your face. 

he meows softly and lets you place him down on the toilet seat. 

“i’ll be out quick, okay?”

he sits politely, front paws tucked together before he replies with a soft “nya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!!!!! thank u all sm for the lovely comments on this and on my other works too 😭😭💘 im gonna do my best to get back to all of you!!! 💗💗
> 
> this series was just something therapeutic for me to write so im so happy there's so many of you enjoying it and finding solace in what the reader is going through 🥺
> 
> stay safe 💕❤️


	35. the searing feeling of air entering your lungs like lost lovers reuniting

takahiro jumps up onto the sink, flexing his short tail. he’s not really fond of how foggy and humid the bathroom gets when you shower, but he’ll stay. sitting in the sink, he stares up at the ceiling, so, so, so thankful that you didn’t push him away earlier. he lets the noise of your shower drown out everything else, pawing at his eyes to get rid of any tears. 

he glances at the mirror, at his furry face, whiskers, pointed ears on his head. he knows he looks different, isn't a human, but as he glances at the shower curtain, he hopes that you’ll look past that. that you’ll still love and baby him. that you’ll still coo and fawn over him.

because he doesn’t know what he’d do otherwise. 

(he’s dreamed.  he’s dreamed and  _ dreams _ of being seen as who he really is. who he simply is.)

“takahiro.”

he sits up, paws on the edge of the sink.

“you know i love you, right? that i love all four of you? you don’t have to explain anything, but i ordered dinner for us tonight. you don’t have to eat it in front of me; you can all eat it tomorrow, i have to go into the office anyways.” 

takahiro doesn’t say anything. 

“i—,” a shuddering breath and a choked sob. your voice sounds wobbly. “i don’t know if the others will come out to see me, but thank you for letting me see you. i love you.” 

(then, finally, someone looks at him and sees him truly—you’re worth it.)

his paws are wet.


	36. he kisses the walls of the house. not for the house, but for you in its

tooru watches from under the couch as you walk into the living room with takahiro half a step behind you. you smell clean and cottony and soapy and all he wants to do is dive into your lap. he couldn’t stand being left with hajime and issei who’re all gloomy and brooding. 

he watches as your feet disappear and you climb onto the sofa, taking takahiro with you who, by the sounds of it, is happy. his purrs and mrrs seem to resonate throughout the entirety of his little body, seeping into the couch, the floor, the entire room.  tooru wants to come out. his back feels a little funny and he’s itching to feel the familiar strokes of that one brush going through his fur. but he doesn’t. 

“tooru?”

he tucks in a little closer, a little farther away. 

“tooru,” your voice is gentle, soothing. “do you want some dinner? are you hungry?”

it does smell good. in fact, it smells divine, but he’s not going to let that trick him. if you’re just going to pick him up and throw him out the door, then he’d rather stay hidden, he’d rather—.

“does your back feel funny? come out? please? i’ll brush you too. i’ll get you a plate of your favourite kibble.” 

before he has time to process your reply, you’re down on the floor. he can see your knees and your ever-inviting lap.  takahiro meows and you laugh as he jumps down onto your lap. before he can stop himself, tooru barks shoving his head out from under the couch. 

it’s a mistake, but also not, not when he sees the elated smile on your face. 

“there you are.”

(of course, tooru wonders if you love him back, which is, really, besides the point. because, at this point, he doesn’t do it to be adored anymore, he does it because his love keeps getting bigger and that’s what happens.)


	37. lonely and tired. hungry, annoyed, overwhelmed.

it’s dark. 

hajime hates it. frown on his face and chest tight. he can hear you, takahiro and tooru in the living room, doing who knows what. it’s kinda funny, he thinks, that the three of you are out there, in warm orange light while he’s in the guest room, tucked into a cold corner. 

(and suddenly, he’s left alone. with a body that can’t love him and a will that can’t save him.)

he feels held by you, home with you. his sole wish is to lay in his head in your lap, feel your hand on his head and stay that way for all eternity. 

but if eternity is a lake of thin ice and the lie of his human form too heavy for it to bear, he’d rather suffocate here. 

he falls asleep.


	38. love, the highest frequency in the universe

it’s 11:35pm. you’re supposed to meet up with your colleagues tomorrow at 9am. 

but you can’t sleep, not when half of your heart isn't there with you. 

hajime’s asleep in the guest room. takahiro had found him for you an hour earlier, but you don’t know where issei is. tooru and takahiro fell asleep in your lap just half an hour ago. you tucked them into your bed before shuffling around the house to look for issei.

he can hear the soft, but quick slides of your bare feet on the floor. he isn’t keen on leaving his spot and debating sneaking out, confident he can make it out without any fuss. 

he’s grateful for the temporary shelter you gave him, but isn’t one for getting attached. 

(he already is.

(he just doesn’t want to stomach the fact that he’s being thrown out.))

when he can’t hear you move around anymore and the silence stretches, he slinks out into the hallway. 

it doesn’t look too chilly out tonight. it’ll be good to get outside, he thinks. he’ll feel less alone in the night with the lights on here and there between the dark buildings and the trees. 

he’ll get used to it.

his paws quicken as he rounds the corner to the gekkan, but they halt in their place when he sees you slumped against the wall, sitting on the floor. 

you’re in a thick sweater, soft breaths leaving your parted lips.  issei knows that he can’t lie to himself. he likes what he likes, dislikes what he dislikes.  frozen to his spot, he watches as your eyes blearily blink open before a soft, tired smile grows across your cheeks. 

“‘sei.”

he wants to shrink into the floor, yet run into your arms all the same.

“i knew you’d come here.”

you open your arms. 

he’s accepted that to love another meant to equally shoulder the burden of losing them, but now he knows he’s always had you all along. 

issei likes what he likes; he patters into your arms. 

(time will work at him. like a mango. softer and softer, full to bursting, blooming. with the love you give him, with love.)


	39. love, like a cough, cannot be concealed

“good morning!”

you look up, tired smile on your face. “good morning, goshiki.”

you clock in together, finding your way to your cubicles while greeting your other coworkers.

“where’s tendou?” 

“he doesn’t feel well, so he’s staying home,” reon says. 

“he’s sick?!” goshiki exclaims, nearly spilling the coffees in his hand. 

“he tested negative; he’ll be fine,” semi offers, stretching his arms above his head. 

you nod, bleary eyes fluttering close as to savour the last five minutes before 9am. 

“good morning.”

you crack your eyes open, seeing ushijima’s clean, sharp figure walking into the center of the room. a chorus of “good morning’s” ring out at various levels of enthusiasm.

the clock hits 9am and washijo strolls in right on the dot. 

at home, taking his seat between hajime’s paws, takahiro tells them what you told him last night in the bathroom. 

tooru brightens up considerably, thinking that this definitely meant you weren’t going to abandon him. 

issei doesn’t really know what to think; he’ll just go with the flow, but is happy about it. 

and hajime. hajime subconsciously realizes that love, like happiness, has been here all along. 

that it isn’t something large or groundbreaking, but small, numerous and something he has. he loves you without knowing how, or when, or from where. he loves you directly without problem or pride. he loves you like this because he doesn't know any other way to love. yeah, he’s a dog, but a dog’s man best friend and a family can be whatever you want it to be.

(hajime’s not living a love story, but love is in it.

(his entire life is a love letter to you.))

takahiro’s ears flick inaudibly, trying to pick up the sounds of your footsteps at the door in hopes that you’ll be home soon. this isn’t exactly the development he’s hoping for, but if it means a home with you and them, he’s okay with that. he’s okay. you’ll all be okay.

coming to that thought, he decides to knead into your comforter. 


	40. a beautiful valley of pinks, purples, yellows and green

“teleworking, huh.”

you shrug, walking out the building doors. a mental checklist goes through your head of the chores you’ll have to do before going home. 

“least they aren’t cutting our bonuses,” reon chuckles.

“yeah.” you give a half smile. “i’m gonna enjoy staying home for as long as i can.”

the three of you part ways at the station. you shove your earphones in, using it to muffle your thoughts. on autopilot, you go to the bank, the grocery store, the bakery all before making your way back home. 

there’s weight on your chest and pain in your head.  the sun shines, but you think it should be dark. the hour should be dark and the season winter so that it’d hide everything you’re feeling.

you open the door.

it fits. it’s fitting. 

“roof!”

hajime sits nervously on the gekkan as takahiro, tooru and even issei walk up to you, pawing at your feet and barking and yipping and meowing for you. 

(the sun shines.)


	41. where we are, meeting halfway

time melts and melts and melts. you don’t see their human forms again, but that’s fine. it’ll work out.

and this workout would too if they stopped bothering you for ten minutes. 

takahiro jumps on your back as you’re doing a high plank, watching tooru scurry across the floor around your feet, occasionally gnawing at your fitness mat. 

issei lies on his back between your spread hands, pawing at one of them. 

hajime doesn’t really understand what you’re doing. did you want to become an animal? he stands next to you on all fours, thinking that your hind legs didn’t look like hind legs and were way too far out to be useful. 

“guys, please, let me finish this workout!” 

issei gives you a deep purr, tail brushing against the floor. takahiro stays on your back, playing with your hair. tooru continues to nip at your pants while hajime stands next to you, tilting his head. 

you stand up, grabbing your phone, water bottle and fitness mat as all four of them keep their eyes on you. sighing, you walk into your bedroom and lock the door. 

right on cue, tooru starts whining and takahiro’s meows petulantly as they paw at the door. 

you laugh at their whining. “i'll be done in half an hour. i’ll just be in my room so go watch tv or something.” 

hajime walks into the kitchen for a drink of water. issei’s already laying on the spot on the couch where you usually sit as a documentary on madagascar’s jungles plays. he licks his paws, content with the amusement in your voice and the whine in tooru’s. 

content. 

as you are to wake up to the silence of paws at the foot of the bed not going anywhere. 


	42. cruise ship

reaching to your side, you pump the nozzle twice, dispensing soap into your hand before rubbing it into issei’s side. he blinks, undisturbed by the water and soap. in fact, he welcomes it. he likes his newfound cleanliness and his skin and coat have felt better than ever since you started caring for him.

you brush your thumbs across his face, cleaning what you can without getting the bubbles into his eyes. you gently brush through his cheeks and the fur on his head and ears.

“aren’t you handsome,” you snicker. 

he meows in response, closing his eyes as you turn the shower head on. 

“you’re so much more slimmer than i thought,” you mumble, brushing your fingers through his coat. 

he pays you no mind, bringing his paw up to lick at it before you grab it.

“not until i’ve rinsed you,” you chide. 

“mrr.”

with the soap funnelling into the drain, you turn the faucet off and pick him up. bracing yourself for the added water weight. you gently towel dry him before taking him out to the living room where the hair dryer is.

the gentle whirr of the dryer and the warm gust of air on issei’s stomach is a welcome sensation. 

takahiro, perched up on the new cat tower you bought them last week, watches. he’s interested in seeing if he puffs up like tooru does after a bath given how long his coat is. 

he does. his soft wispy, thick coat immaculately clean and ridiculously voluminous. you laugh, leaning back onto the couch as you comb your fingers through his coat. takahiro laughs too, perched up high. 

issei gives himself a good shake, tousling his coat and letting the sun catch its rays through the dark black and browns of his strands. you chuckle to yourself as you stand, walking to the place where you kept all their brushes as takahiro jumps down from his spot in the tower to sniff at him.

tooru, off to side, has his tail whirr behind him as he watches you walk to that one cabinet, giddy excitement building. he wants to be brushed too!! he lies politely next to issei, baring his belly to you as you laugh and bury your face in his fluffy stomach. he yips at the affection, closing his eyes and putting his paws on your legs as you kiss his forehead. 

hajime thinks the grin on his face is about to split the smaller dog in two with how wide it is. he knows tooru’s gotten attached to you, even more so than he or takahiro is. 

issei’s okay with waiting, letting hiro lay himself on top of him. he blinks slowly, relishing in the warmth of the sun. 

“okay, tooru, i have to fold the laundry after i brush issei, so c’mon.” 

tooru barks, paw landing in your thigh. 

“tooru,” you repeat, but he still doesn’t move, and it’s only the third time you say his name with a boop on his nose that he finally sits up and watches as you comb issei’s fluffy coat. when you’re done, you kiss his forehead like you did with tooru before walking towards the laundry room. 

tooru pitter patters along. 

“are you going to help me?”

he smiles, tail going a million miles an hour behind him. 

(issei does too, eager to get the chance to sit in your basket of warm, dry laundry, grinning through your complaints of his fur getting everywhere.)


	43. our small island made for each other

the rain pours and pours and pours and pours. the temperature’s low, below zero.

but groceries still need to be bought. 

hajime stands at your side dutifully, quietly. the only one out of the four that can stand the cold. he shakes the wet and the rain from his coat, waiting for you to finish underneath the hanging of the supermarket. he licks at his nose, catching the stray droplet there.

it’s not busy. hajime wishes it was, so that he could feel the gust of warm air coming from the inside more often. he shuffles his paws, trying to generate warmth.

his ears shift and he stills, tail swishing at the familiar sound of your footsteps.

“hajime.”

he barks, lips curving into an endearing smile when your hands cover his cheeks and rub over his ears. 

“thank you for waiting. you must be freezing. let’s get home, ‘kay?” 

he nods imperceptibly and walks by your side through a crosswalk, another crosswalk, pass the park and waits for you as you make a stop at the bakery. he takes you home into the apartment where you give him a warm bath and dry him off before putting lotion of his dry paw pads.

that afternoon, you slice him apples.

“the crunchy ones; they’re your favourite, right?”

he grins, munching them up and crawling into your lap in a rare case of overwhelming tenderness even he himself is unfamiliar with. you put the blanket of the kotatsu over his body and hajime slowly drifts into a dreamless, deep sleep. your hand on his head feels like the sun. 


	44. yellow light on a plain white wall

**Microsoft Teams  
** _Shiratorizawa Inc._

**private messages: Reon Ohira**

>> (09:17) Hey, sorry to bother you so early. Did Tendou send you the files for the quarterly review? 

>> (09:18) yeah, he did. i’ll forward them to you. do you want shirabu’s report too?  
>> (09:19) it needs one more signature.

>> (09:20) Yeah, I’ll review it. Thanks.  
>> (09:22) I’d like them before 10 if that works.

>> (09:22) 👌

>> (09:23) Oh yeah, your birthday is coming up. Do you have any plans?

“do i?” you mumble aloud.

you reply with a “not really” and promise to send him the files before 10am before putting your phone down.

you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee. the music playing on the off colour radio you have that is, for some reason, really getting to your heart. you stand there, cutting an apple into slices as your oatmeal spins in the microwave. you think about walking hajime and tooru and picking up your dry cleaning. 

“mrrya.”

you turn off the stove and pick takahiro up into your arms. he purrs and swats a paw at issei chilling on your shoulders. you shuffle to the microwave, ending the countdown and giving hiro and issei little kisses, putting them down on the counter before taking the burning bowl out of the microwave. 

you turn, fetching their kibble and bowls as tooru’s nails click clack on the hardwood floor. hajime nuzzles his head into your thigh.

“morning to you too, ‘jime.”

he pushes his head into the back of your thighs. 

while you give them their portions, you think about more exciting things like shows you’re watching and trips you plan on taking and other things you plan on doing with this sudden burst of motivation. or maybe it's just a temporary delusion. 

(and suddenly you just don’t feel at home with who you are or in your apartment and you just want _home_ but "mom’s" wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. you realize you’ll never be this young again but that this is also the first ever time you’ve ever been this old. you can’t remember how you got from seventeen to here. yet seventeen is just as much of a stranger to you now as your current self is.)

the song is over. the coffee’s done. you breathe in and out. 

a nuzzle to your upper arm. a turn to your right.

hajime. bright, beautiful green-eyed hajime.

“walk?”

he gives you a short bark and tooru replies with three.

you’ll be fine in ten minutes.


	45. a caterpillar into a butterfly...

stephen…

stephen’s nice. 

he’s got nice ambitions, a nice face, nice career and it seems like he’s got a good moral compass. 

but you’re in no mood to entertain a stranger. 

it’s a saturday morning and at 10:12am, your mom invited herself over and brought stephen with her. she left after introductions, promising to be back within an hour.

the two of you are sitting on the sofa, awkwardly making conversation.

stephen glances at tooru, who’s sitting right in front of him, staring at him unabashedly.

“it’s kinda amazing that you have four pets,” he laughs, eyes moving to hajime near your feet and issei in your lap. “speaking of, where’s the fourth?”

you gesture up the cat tower you bought last week, pointing at the small lump of pink on the top. 

“‘hiro,” you call. 

he sits up, looking down at the two of you before making his way down to you. 

“he’s tiny,” stephen muses, watching as takahiro gets comfortable on your lap. tooru comes over to paw at your shins so you decide to get on the floor altogether. 

“yeah, he is,” you say, scratching his little chin. issei jumps out of your lap to rest near hajime as tooru climbs in. 

stephen nods. 

you sigh, knowing this isn’t going to get anywhere. hajime looks up at you. he can sense your discomfort and wants the weird guy out too. getting up, he sits between you and stephen, physically blocking him from getting close. 

stephen mistakes the act as an invitation and when he moves to pet hajime, tooru growls, snarling at him. tooru hates the guy, doesn’t like the way he smells, the way it lingers in the room. takahiro, surprised from the noise, flies out of your lap to hide next to issei. 

“tooru!” you hold him close to you, soothing him with pets, but he’s adamant on scaring stephen away. hajime, trying to scold tooru, growls too. they stare each other down, low snarls echoing.

“hey.”

hajime makes a gruff noise before headbutting tooru and walking behind you to hide behind your back. tooru quiets down when you pull him out of your lap. he whines, putting his head on his paws and laying down. 

“huh,” stephen muses, running a hand through his hair. “you’ve trained them really well.”

“yeah, sorry about that though.” you scratch tooru behind his ear. “it helps that hajime is so smart.” 

issei turns to look behind him, seeing hajime’s tail swing up and down rapidly. 

“yeah,” stephen smiles, making his dimple pop. “he’s a handsome guy too.” 

you have hajime walk up in front of you and take the chance to show him off along with the others. the next half an hour passes by pleasantly before your mom comes back. the meeting wasn’t so bad, you think to yourself. 


	46. a kitten into a cat, a cat into...

issei licks at his coat, paying no mind to takahiro pawing at his tail.

“how unfair!” tooru complains. “hajime got the most compliments!”

hajime rolls his eyes, ears picking up bits and pieces of your conversation with your mom and stephen at the door. 

“i’m surprised you got any after the stunt you pulled,” issei snickers. 

tooru makes a silly harumph noise. 

“aw, c’mon,” takahiro soothes. “will it kill you to let someone else into the spotlight?”

your voice rings out in the apartment. stern. cold.

all four of them swivel their heads towards the door. 


	47. ...a cat into a chocolate covered almond

“well!” your mom smiles. “i hope everything went nicely.” she continues before you can even open your mouth.  “stephen, thank you so much for coming today. i hope those animals didn’t bother you.”

“oh, not at all,” stephen smiles, glancing at you. “she’s just fostering two of them right? so it’s not like it's a permanent thing.” 

“and who told you that?” 

stephen looks at you in surprise. “your mom here.”

“of course she is,” your mom mutters.

“what’s going on?” takahiro asks, taking two steps towards the hallway leading into the gekkan.

“her mom,” hajime says. it’s a quiet, almost defeated sound. 

tooru understands. he understands. that while she’s blood, what you have for each other isn’t fully love. or it’s not the kind of love you’d want it to be. the love is the kind of love that has you soft on some days and drained on others. it’s the kind of love tooru isn’t particularly interested in. being known is being loved and tooru thinks your mom doesn’t know you very well at all. 

“i know you hid hajime’s toy, tooru” “you have freckles on your ears” “your favourite fruits are apples, right?” “you always make that face when you’re up to something" “you don’t like costumes, but you do like new collars” “i know, i know, don’t worry”

being known is loved. 

and with the hundreds of habits of yours tooru has remembered, he dashes to your bedroom. 

“where’s he going?” takahiro wonders aloud. 

issei shrugs, opting instead to make his way where you are. 

“i haven’t made my decision yet.”

your mom’s features turn down. it makes your stomach turn, acid eating away your inside like adolescent guilt and shame and embarrassment. you swallow it down, long used to the burn and roll your eyes at her.

“it doesn’t matter,” she utters.

“mrrya.”

the three of you look behind you to see issei on the floor in front of your feet. hajime walks up beside you as takahiro plants himself in between your legs. 

displeased, your mom takes several steps back. stephen looks amused.

“mom.” you take a breath. “you—. look it’s none of your business.”

she frowns, blinking incredulously. “why isn’t it? you’re my daughter. for god’s sake, you never talk to me about anything—i always have to ask you.”

(because, mother, for us to have a decent relationship with legitimate communication, i’d need you to acknowledge that the things you did to me, that the choices you made while i was growing up, hurt me and still hurt to this day. yes, i do resent you, but i don’t want you to experience that guilt and discomfort. yes, that means that the resentment will stay but it’s easier to pretend we’re fine than to confront it and each other.)

you keep your mouth shut. stephen bites his tongue. 

the lilting call of your name rings out through the entire block, your body, the block.

“wh—?”

the words are caught in your throat when you come face to face with the human incarnate of a perfect chocolate covered roasted almond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this series has gone so far than what i initially expected; thank u all so much for the support!! 🥰 i rlly wouldn't have written sm for this w/o all your lovely comments and encouragement 😭💕 i hope all of you had a great xmas, new years and return to school!! 💘 
> 
> w/regards to future updates, once this hits 50 chpts, ill be moving to a second part of sorts. it's getting rlly long and i dont want to keep on updating this and extending the chapters 😴


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